Lelaki Handsome vs Lelaki Tak Handsome 0

Kalau lelaki handsome pendiam
-Perempuan akan cakap:: woow, cool giler...

Kalau lelaki tak handsome pendiam
-Perempuan akan cakap: eh perasan bagus...

Kalau lelaki handsome berbuat jahat
-Perempuan akan kata: nobody's perfect

Kalau lelaki tak handsome berbuat jahat
-Perempuan akan cakap:
memang.... muka pun macam pecah rumah!

Kalau lelaki handsome menolong perempuan yg diganggu
-Perempuan akan cakap:
wah.. machonya.. macam hero filem!

Kalau lelaki tak handsome menolong perempuan yang diganggu
-Perempuan akan kata: entah2 kawan dia...

Kalau lelaki handsome dapat perempuan cantik
-Perempuan akan kata:
sepadan sangat...

Kalau lelaki tak handsome dapat perempuan cantik
-Perempuan akan kata:
mesti kena bomoh perempuan tuh!

Kalau lelaki handsome ditinggal kekasih
-Perempuan akan kata:
jangan sedih, kan saya ada..

Kalau lelaki tak handsome ditinggal kekasih
-Perempuan akan kata:...
(terdiam, tapi telunjuknya meliuk-liuk dari atas ke bawah,
patutlah, tengok saja luarannya)...

Kalau lelaki handsome penyayang binatang
-Perempuan akan cakap:
perasaannya halus...penuh kasih sayang kalau lelaki tak handsome
penyayang binatang perempuan akan cakap: sesama keluarga memang harus menyayangi...

Kalau lelaki handsome bawa BMW
-Perempuan akan cakap: matching... hebat luar dalam

Kalau lelaki tak handsome bawa BMW
-Perempuan akan cakap: bang, bosnya mana?...

Kalau lelaki handsome tak mau bergambar
-Perempuan akan cakap:
pasti takut kalau2 gambarnya tersebar kalau lelaki tak handsome tak mau
bergambar perempuan akan kata: tak sanggup melihat hasilnya ya?...

Kalau lelaki handsome menuang air ke gelas perempuan
-Perempuan akan cakap:
ini barulah lelaki gentlemen

Kalau lelaki tak handsome menuang air ke gelas perempuan
-Perempuan akan cakap:
naluri pembantu, memang begitu....

Kalau lelaki handsome bersedih hati
-Perempuan akan cakap:
let me be your shoulder to cry on

Kalau lelaki tak handsome bersedih hati
-Perempuan akan kata:
kuat nangis!! lelaki ke bukan ni?

Berbagai Petua untuk 'tahan lama' 0

KELAPA PARUT

• Untuk lebih tahan lama... selama 2 tahun. Belah kelapa dan ambik sebelah sahaja. Gunakan pada 31 December 2009. Dan sebelah lagi pada 1 Januari 2010. Wah?... tahan sampai 2 tahun kan ?... Amazing GresteQuer! Jangan lupa hujung tahun nie cuba tau...

NASI/LAUK

• Biar tahan lebih lama... jangan gunakan jari pasal jari korang ada bakteria. Sebab tu lauk cepat basi. Ceduk la pakai sudu ke, sudip ke.

BARANGAN KEMAS TERUTAMA EMAS

• Barangan emas bila dah terlalu banyak dikenakan zakat. Tapi kalau untuk lebih 'tahan lama'... bayar la zakat untuk barang kemas tu. Kalau tak, tetiba hilang atau kena curi... padan muka hampa... hahaha!

PAKAIAN TAHAN LAMA

• Jangan rendam dalam serbuk pencuci lama sangat elak guna washing mach... Jangan jemur bawah mentari terik elak guna bleach... Jangan bawa mandi kat beach. Gantung bila disimpan. Cuc i guna air jeram/hujan. Jangan bagi pinjam kat kawan! Kalau boleh pakai baju member, baju sendiri simpan elok-elok.

KERETA

• Lepas beli, simpan kat garaj... bungkus elok-elok... jangan bagi angin masuk... jangan bagi abuk masuk... jangan bagi wap air masuk. Pagi-pagi panaskan enjin dan hari-hari lap kereta. Bayar loan bulan-bulan sampai abis loan... gerenti kereta tahan lama...

KENYANG

• Kalau nak tahan lama... sebelum makan baca bismillah dan doa... Akhir makan... doa dan ucap alhamdullillah. . Jangan jadi macam setan...

UMUR

• Umur nak tahan lama?... Jangan Merokok!... Rokok nak tahan lama?... Jangan Hisap!...
• P/S: jangan hisap benda-benda yang dilarang... sendiri mau ingat aaaa...
  

TIDUR

• Nak tahan lama tak tidur malam - senang aje jangan tidur.

HUBUNGAN

• Bertahan lama dalam persahabatan/ hubungan. .. Jujur dan ikhlas.

KUEH RAYA

• Kueh raya kalau nak tahan lama, melantak bebanyak sikit, kalau orang datang rumah beraya kasi tapaukan dia sekali kueh-kueh raya tu... ini bermakna tak la membazir... kalau simpan lama sangat nanti kueh jadi tengik... lepas tu nak kena buang, so... jangan jadi setan... membazir amalan setan.

KERJA

• Kerja kalau nak "tahan lama " jangan asyik nak baca email aje macam korang... dah tak ada kerja lain ke... kalau BOSS nampak tak pasal-pasal kena tendang.

MORAL: Ada petua yang tak ada kat sini ke...? Macam cari-cari je... OK... Faham, faham... Kalau nak tahan lama, kena sabarlah, jangan gelojoh! Apa pun kalau tak sabar memanglah tak tahan lama!

Maksud "BYE" 0

Bahasa Arab : "fi hafzil baba"

Bahasa Melayu : "di bawah naungan pope (paderi)"


sebaik2 cara hidup ialah yang di praktikkan oleh junjungan besar Nabi
Muhammad saw... dan Nabi Muhamad saw mengucapkan salam bukannya 'bye',
'hello', 'hi' etc... mengapakah aku baru tau ini semuaaa?? tidakkkkkkk!!
perkataan merupakan jarum sulit org kristian... didlm bahasa
Arab b'maksud "fi hafzil baba" manakala dlm bahasa Malaysia b'maksud di
bwh naungan pope (paderi). jd foward dan sebarkan kepada semua shbt2
anda. semoga Allah memberi rahmat kpd kita dan org lain. wassalam.
Wallahualam...

Sebaik2nya gantikan perkataan BYE tersebut kepada Assalamualaikum...
Kerana sesungguhnya Islam yang diwariskan kepada kita oleh junjungan
besar Nabi Muhammad SWT itu sudah lengkap dan sesuai untuk diamalkan
sehingga ke akhir zaman... Cuma kita sahaja yang gemar menuruti budaya
barat... (Budaya orang kapir laknat Nauzubillah...)

Memancing ikan at Tg Tualang.. 0

mmm...aktiviti hari ni...mancing ikan..hahaa..sebenaqnya aku ni bukan laa kaki pancing pon.. ikut mood ja.. hari ni off day..so aku dgn member group 2 org (fariz n fizi) dah setuju nak p mancing... hohoo.. bermulalahhhh..kat belah2 perak ni banyak lombong dan kawan aku si fizi niplak dh memang org perak..so dia arif la bab2 lombong kat perak ni.. dan untuk tidak memayahkan keadaan,fizi ajak p mancing kat tempat dia..tanjung tualang...hehe.. dipendekkan cerita..lombong ni ok gak laa..mmm..dah 2 jam dok mancing ni..tp bayang ikan pon tadak...hehhe.. oleh kerana umah fizi dekat dgn port ni, dia pon balik umah ambik jala..mmg baguih sangat laa..bukan apa.. geram btoi dengan ikan2 ni.. jamu punya jamu hampa tak maw makan nooo...jadi dengan bangganya kami lempaq jala jaa...huh..mmg memberansangkan laa..sekali lempaq, 10 ekoq sangkut kat jala..tp ikan yang kami buleh ni sumanya talapia laa... bagi geng2 pancing ni,ikan talapia ni kira 'low class' laa..pejam mata pon bleh dapat..tp 2 jam kami dok mengadap,sekoq talapia pon tak dapat..hahaha.. kira haprak btoi la kami ni...hehehe.. posing time mancing..eksyen mau lebeyyy aku n fizi aku n fariz..

ni ikan yang kami jala..tak nampak sangat laa

port mmg cantekk..

snap..

ni dia talapia..

fizi the 'penabaq jala'

ini last minit punya action..

fariz pon dapat...wawawa

pemancing kecil kecilan..haha..

ok tak port ni??

20 cara untuk jadikan roomate anda gila... 0

Bengang dengan roommate? Tak tahu apa nak buat? Get ready for the payback
time...

1. Setiap hari Jumaat, pack segala barang anda dan bagitau kat roommate
anda nak balik kampung. Selepas sejam, balik ke bilik & terangkan bhw
takde org kat rumah. Unpack segala brg anda & pegi tidor.

2. Setiap kali roommate anda balik, jerit sekuat hati" horee...kau dah
balik". Lepas tu menari dlm 5 minit. Lepas tu, tenung jam lama2 dan tanya
dia "Sepatutnya kau dah blah dah skrg"

3. Buat2 terjaga pd tengah malam, jerit kuat2 " Tolong, kat mana aku
berada ni?" dan lari keliling bilik tu. Kalau bilik kecil, cukuplah sekadar
melompat 2-3 kali. Kemudian, sambung tidor. Esoknya, kalo dia tanya, pura2
tak tahu apa yg dia cakap.

4. Ambil marker, buat bulatan kecil kat lengan anda. Besarkan bulatan tu
setiap hari sambil berkata "Dah merebak... dah merebak!"

5. Beli pepokok bonsai. Bercakap & tidor dengan pokok tu setiap hari.
Selepas seminggu, bertengkar dgn pokok tu dan cakap "Aku tak boleh hidup
sebilik dengan kau lagi" sambil keluar & menghempaskan pintu bilik dgn
kuat...Buang pokok tu tapi biarkan pasu kat situ.

6. Beli pisau banyak-banyak. Tajamkan setiap malam sambil merenung
roommate anda sambil berkata "Tak lama lagi...tak lama lagi..."

7. Duduk didepan papan chess dua-tiga jam tanpa buat apa2 atau cakap apa2.
Lepas tu bangun secara tiba2 sambil berkata, "Siot betul, kalah lagi"

8. Setiap kali roommate balik, tutup lampu dan tidor. lepas dia keluar,
bangun dan menjerit dgn kuat "Horee...!". bukak lampu semula.

9. Pakai topi kertas. Bila dia balik, cakap "Selamat Datang ke McDonald.
Boleh saya ambil pesanan anda..." Lepas tu buat muka bodoh, sambil berkata
"Eh, kau rupanya..."

10. Kata kat roommate " Ada pesanan penting untuk kau". Lepas tu buat2
pengsan. Lepas 2-3 jam, bangun dan cakap yagn anda dah lupa pesanan tu.
Kemudian, cakap "Eh...aku dah ingat". Lepas tu pengsan balik.

11. Bila roommate anda balik, berpura2 tengah telefon. Caci maki dan
menjerit dengan kuat kat telefon tu. Lepas tu letak telefon dan cakap kat
roommate bhw yg telefon tadi adalah mak dia. Cakap mak dia akan telefon
balik.

12. Kalau roommate suka gosok gigi kat sinki, perhatikan sampai habis.
Lepas dia habis, cakap dengan dia bhw anda kena ajar dia cara mengosok
gigi dengan betul.

13. Edarkan risalah ke kawasan kedai/rumah kedai berdekatan rumah/kampus.
Dalam risalah tu, nyatakan bahawa roommate anda hilang. Letak sekali
gambar dia dlm risalah tu. Tawarkan hadiah kepada sesiapa yg menjumpai
roommate anda.

14. Bila roommate anda tutup lampu pd sebelah malam, nyanyi lagu opera
sekuat hati. Bila dia buka balik lampu, buat2 muka bodoh dan confused.

15. Duduk & renung roommate dlm 2-3 jam. Kalau boleh, bawa member2 sekali
sambil makan kacang & popcorn. Buat macam tengah tengok wayang.

16. Masa roommate tiada, ambil deodoran dan sapukan pada seluruh dinding
bilik. Bila dia balik, puji bahawa bilik berbau wangi. Lakukan selalu
sampai deodoran tu habis.

17. Kalau roommate ada binatang peliharaan, spt kucing, offer utk beri
makan kpd binatang tsbt. Cepat2 keluarkan botol gam atau minyak rambut
sebelum dia beri persetujuan kpd kau.

18. Pegang & gosok-gosok rambut roommate anda sambil berkata "Rambut kau
hitam, lurus dan berkilat la...Macam teknik rebonding... ". Sekali-sekala
buat masa dia tengah tidur.

19. Mase roommate tido, bungkus dia macam kafan mayat (siap ikat), pastu
panggil member dlm 10 bace yasin ramai2.
bile rumet jage pakat2 buat x nmpk ape2.

20. Sebelum roommate balik dari kelas, bungkus diri sendiri macam kafan
(siap ikat jugak) pastu baring senyap-senyap atas katil dia. Mesti dia
terkujat sampai pengsan bila masuk bilik tengok2 ada mayat.

buat lah.. hahahahaha

Kayuhan ke Lata Baling 0

Pagi ni cuaca tenang..aku bgn tido pon sbb yus dok telepon..hahhaha kalau x...mmg burn la kayohan pg ni.. ride hari ni... LATA BALING.. trek ni offroad..tp sblum sampai situ,kami diguide oleh abg razif.. dia mai nek moto dari pejabat untuk tunjukkan jalan kat kami...tq abg razif.. overall distance dlm 35km je..offroad 10km.. tp kayuhan balik nanti..fuh..kena redah bukit baling..nyum2.. pg ni kami 4org ja yang pi..aku, cik harun, nizam n yus.. gerak dari kroh kul 8am.. smpai Lata Baling :0930hrs Sampai Kroh :tengahari date : 18.02.09 aku pon taktaw apa nak cerita.. so, saudara saudari sekalian tgk gmbar kat bawah ni udah la yee...;)

legaa...'kata cik harun'..hehe

downhill ni...fuhhh

odw ke lata baling

uit...thuntun beskal kaaa

dah sampei...minum dlu..''nizam n yus''

pose at lata baling..nizam,yus,n cik harun

nizam, aku n cik harun

huuuu...bes ayaq terjun tu..

cik harun hantaq report kat bini

beshkal wa..bagi dia relax dlu..hahaha

ayaq ther jun..nyum3

ni dah ride balik

nizam n yus tgh lead

odw balik ni tayar cik harun pancit lak.. mujoq ada hero tolong repair..

cik harun dok jampi tayar..jgn bg pancit lg dah..

muka toya...letih siottt

jeng3...org yg tutup aurat je blh lalu sini.. ni dah nak start sesi nazak ni..panjat bukit..

To All Married Couples and To All Future Couples 0

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.


Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.

Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.

I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life.

My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I

didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.

The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:

"I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart"

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a marriage.

Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.

We teach some by what we say
We teach some more by what we do
But we teach most by what we are

- Unknown
You don't get to choose how you are going to die, or when, but, you can
decide how you are going to live, here and now.