Monday, September 21, 2009

Malaysia a Paradise of Scandals – from Sex to Stadium

Amazing, isn’t it? Just when you thought the dust has settled another surprise, or rather scandal, appears and screaming for your attention. Unlike BMF scandal that saw a whooping RM2.5 billion vaporized into thin air back in 1980s the same cannot be said about PKFZ’s scandal which has eaten RM7.453 billion of taxpayers’ money and is about to put the whole project in the country’s Guinness Record – a staggering RM12.453 billion. 

The country has indeed made her progress at an astounding rate – not only the quality of scandal or corruption (in terms of value) has increased, the quantity has also skyrocketed exponentially since then.

Going by the rate the scandals are queuing waiting to explode, now is perhaps the best time for Najib’s administration to prepare a long list, assign a queue-number to each of them with the most critical given priority and release it one after another. 

The reason is pretty simple. Bombard and overload the people or taxpayers with the scandals and chances are high they’ll forget about it the next day because before they can debate and digest the first scandal at their favorite coffee-shop, the next scandal would be front-paged and then the third, the fourth, the fifth and the list continues. 

Remember I said the most critical has to go first? So by the time the last scandal (if there would be a last scandal in the first place) makes its appearance the scale of it would probably amounting to a few thousands of ringgit that eventually people will ignore it. Great strategy isn’t it?

So, why are we so surprise about Malaysian government allegedly cover-up in Kelantan prince’s scandal over Indonesian babe 17-year-old Manohara Odelia Pinot and the latest RM300 million stadium named after the King – Sultan Mizan Zainal Abidin, which collapsed just a year after it opened? 

Point your gun at my head but I’m still betting my last dollar that corruption was involved. But in Malaysia corruption is OK as long as the project does not “collapse” but unfortunately the stadium did collapse one year after it was officially opened by the King himself, and that’s embarrassing enough. At least during Mahathir’s era the Penang bridge (built by Korean construction company), PLUS highway, Putrajaya and Petronas Twin Towers (Japanese and Korean contractor) have not collapse. 

This leave the preliminary question if the politicians should start pointing the finger at the Korean contractor the moment the stadium collapsed, unless of course this Korean contractor did not even qualified for such project in the first place.

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know that corruption in Malaysia is so serious that there were abundant jokes about the situation. A bunch of Malaysians paid a visit to their Korean friend’s house hoping to taste homemade “kim-chi”.

  • Malaysians: Whoa!!! Your house is like a palace … Is that the latest Benz model? Just how on earth could you afford this? No wonder you won’t go back to Korea *laugh*
  • Korean: Come here and I’ll show you my little secret … Can you see that Penang bridge?
  • Malaysians: Yes? *scratching their head” …
  • Korean: Well, it was supposed to be two Penang bridges because our study showed a single bridge will be insufficient to cater for the traffic …
  • Malaysians: So? *getting more confuse*
  • Korean: So? So there you have it – a single bridge built with the cost of two …
  • Malaysians: *it took them several minutes to digest what the Korean told them* … then burst into laughter as if they’ve found the holy grail …
Some years later, this Korean decided to pay a visit to one of his old Malaysian friends.
  • Korean: Whoa! Your house is triple the size of my palace … Is that the latest Lambo model? Simply Amazing! How did you do it?
  • Malaysian: Come here my friend and I’ll show you my little secret …
  • Korean: OK, OK, I’m coming … *was about to orgasm*
  • Malaysian: Can you see that bridge over there?
  • Korean: *staring for a couple of minutes* … but I don’t see any bridge …
  • Malaysian: *burst into laughter* … precisely …
Now, do you understand why Malaysian politicians are so eager to start mega-projects almost on daily basis? It doesn’t matter if the bridge is “crook” or to be built halfway to nowhere but most importantly the project has to be awarded (you know to whom). 

In Malaysia you’re untouchable even if the writing is on the wall that you blatantly squandered millions or even billions of taxpayer money but you’re asking for trouble if you wear black, mentioned the word Altantuya or even protest about escalating cost of living or police brutality. Malaysia is indeed a paradise of scandals – from Sex to Stadium.

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